How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my poor anus
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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