just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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