I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
