My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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