i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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