We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
