honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
