Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
