i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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