Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
