the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
