so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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