But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
