She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
