Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you had me at cake vodka
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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