I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
