Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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