No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
