Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
