tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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