apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We're too hungover to prance.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
