i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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