so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
being pregnant is like rehab
You made out with two different species that night
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
