I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
