i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dignity is for republicans.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
