You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
