i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
