I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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