She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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