Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize