some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
