you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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