so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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