I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
