he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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