I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
