SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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