i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there's paper in my vomit.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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