I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
