SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
