btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
