We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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