the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
