is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
