She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
