Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's the barista slut.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I party with great urgency now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
