I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
