maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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