it wasn't lemon gatorade
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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