My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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