Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
